05/05 2010

little naive heart.

I’m left out in the cold, sick and trembling, called gorgeous by mistaken lips and blind eyes. Laughed at for incurable diseases and ripped apart for accusing fingers. Never ending silence in a darkened world… don’t try to save me.

I’m un-savable, dishonest, uncaring, and undeserving of your love. Drop me in a hole and watch as I fall into the abyss, turn away as I scream out for your loving arms, erase me from your memory like an ugly drawing in your sketch book, tear me from your life, wrinkle my skin and throw me in the garbage. This recycled heart will heal and move on. You left but a tiny scratch on an ash heart. Those blind eyes will learn how to perceive beauty; sadly, they will over look mine and move on.

Your beauty outshines all those around you and will never compare to anyone else’s.

Lies. Told by the softest lips and wavering heart. My beauty never compared to anyone else’s because you forgot about me and walked away laughing at my naïve little heart.

05/03 2010

i liek red dis peom nd iz tink itz aboot jewsus becuz deefeeted dieing mplys jewsus

where the hell did you learn english?

05/01 2010

born in flames. by =corina90

professor, teach me the geography of twisting torsos and tangled limbs. professor, teach my the science of exploding chemical reactions. professor, teach me the language of love. whisper the rubric into the river of my throat, tattoo the directions on the backside of my spine. then shed the skin of scholars and embrace the world of explorers. mold my hips and discover the ridgeline of my vertebrae. trace the valley of my navel and the canyons of my ribs. whisper questions against goose-bumped flesh and wait for the voice of the ancients to answer in heat and chaos.

forget exploring, concentrate on surviving. think about catching your air as you struggle against the tide, as the undercurrent pulls at your feet, as the flames lick the soles. think about your arteries tying together and your lungs collapsing and death whipping around you so fast you forget the colors of life. concentrate on me then, hold on to me then; wait until we’re riding the jagged knife-edge of desire straight into the belly of destruction. wait until we’re the crossed wires and smoldering fuse that burn the building to the ground, the city into ashes, the world into the age of the new lovers.


http://corina90.deviantart.com/art/born-in-flames-162098391

04/26 2010

Screaming for the End.

As the wind rustled through his chopped, dyed hair, he wonders where he fits in the world. Screams echoed and bounced off the walls of his skull. Curled up in thoughts unforgivingness, his eyes shone like the luminescent stars that shown on a moonless night. Disgust painted his face with frustration and resentment barreled deep, beneath his brow. Cracked composer and hallowed out soul stared back at him, as his reflection taunted and challenged him to pull the trigger. Lying motionless next to him stretched a scarlet lake reflecting the setting sun. In his lifeless hand he held a cold, metallic gun; disgraced and ashamed of his over-whelming want to end his bitter suffering, scarlet alibis and deceit of happiness haunted his past. Unanswered questions and old arguments burned into the walls of his skull; already he has poured over them for decades or more. Wrapped up in self-doubt and with a weary heart, he pondered his choice—life or death. On his lips hung the kiss of death, which filled his jet black lungs with sorrow. Finished and fed up with fighting for his life, his will broke down and screamed for the end.

— an assignment for english(:

04/23 2010
Falling and flying aren’t so different; when you forget what direction you’re going.
04/23 2010

Twisting the Fabricated Lies of Life.

story writin by me!(: enjoy. 

I had never seen the sky for the first ten years of my short life. They, those who held me captive, told me it was nothing special, just a boring dull blue ceiling with gray gloomy wimpy clouds. I did not know what clouds looked like so I guessed at what they might look like, I missed by a long shot. Anyway as I sit here underneath the sparkling midnight sky I think back to my painful past, it is time for the world to know what really happened all those years ago.

My name is Aiko Dufour-La Pointe I did not come into this world under any “normal” procedures, but more as if I grew and cultivated in someone, but a thing. Naming my parents “things” would, believe it or not, be a nicer word for them. In truth, they are nothing but bitter hard brainless machines. Animals consumed by money and drugs and pleasure. They are not people because they would do anything for money, even give up their baby and take drugs while the baby is still inside of them. Drugs that in the end killed them, but re-produced an intelligent, beyond-this-world- flexibility, a learning curve that far surpasses anything ever recorded, and stunning beauty.

Through numerous experiments and several hundred willing people to experiment on, “the company” finally produced the perfect drug-grown baby sixteen years ago—me. I did not know any better than how they treated me; by the time I turned three the world encyclopedia became my playground, languages of every kind rolled off my tongue, and lying came as natural as walking or eating. Although many abilities came naturally, talking to actual people became harder and harder until by the time I turned seven, I completely shut down and only observed. They tried time and time again to hear my voice, but after awhile they gave up.

Millions of thoughts ran through my head, they feed me death-drenched stories of the outside world, saying, “The world is in such a great need of your talents, Aiko. With you in the sniper’s seat, the world will have much less death of the innocent lives.” Unfortunately, I later found out that they often blurred the line between the guilty and innocent.

The first time I tried to kill myself on my ninth birthday, I nearly succeeded. Stench and filth filled my lungs as I spilled over my thoughts. Failure. Disappointment. Weak. Ungrateful. Tears of imperfection dropped to the floor. As I glared at my monstrous face in the mirror, I thought back to the complete and utter failure of a trial mission—my final test. It hurt to even think about. I punched the mirror, pain surged up my arm and registered in the nerves and then forgotten by the brain. We had learned to forget pain, and any other human emotion. Looking at my hand, I picked as the glass. An idea clicked in my thoughts, clear and understandable. One mission I knew I could not fail in my last deed on this lonely planet. Just one slice would do, it did not even have to go deep. I picked up the shattered glass and slashed both wrists. Everything began to tilt, spin, and I watched as the ground rose up to swallow me.

Fortunately, the ground did not want me ether. I awoke in the infirmary, I laid between an old man and a younger one.

“Get up,” said the old man.

“No,” I replied.

“If you don’t, you’ll never see the real world.”

“The world?! HA. The real world my butt.”

“Hm. Have they really sucked your soul and curiosity out of you? Or are you just so naïve that you would believe everything they tell you and you would just lay there and wait for your death?”

“I can’t die. I tried but the ground spit me back out, like everyone else death didn’t even want me.”

“Ahhhh but that’s not true, for I am death and I will chose when you die! Not you. So get up and fight! For now is not your time to die. You must fight, many depend upon you.”

“Psh like who?!”

“You must find that out yourself. So fight and search for the azure sky and don’t stop until it swallows you up.” 

Jerking up, I realized I had dreamt the conversation and still lay on the bathroom floor. I patched up my wriest and scrambled out of the room and into a dangers game of cat and mouse.

For a year I slept, ate, fought, and studied only to see that azure sky and have freedom beyond the four concrete walls. Each picture I came across built my earness to see the real thing. Finaaly, I had my plan I knew whatever this place was, it had to be ruined, burned to the ground. Buried and never known to the world. I never wanted to see it again or hear of it or think about it in this life again. Slowly and quietly I strategically placed bombs within the underground building. On the day I blew them up I had miscalculated how grand I had made the bombs and nearly ended up crushing myself. I ran into death a second time.

He stood tall wearing all black with a smirk on his face. Shaking his head, he walked away, glancing back he winked and said, “Stand up and move forward, my love.”

Startled I blinked and shook my head to clear it. Coughing in the dust, I stumbled to my exit. Climbing up the emergency exit stairs I shot anyone who entered, counting as I went. Ten. Two there that adds up to twelve bodies…thirteen, fourteen, fifteen… I had learned almost everything about the Company who oversaw, funded, and built the experiential babies and train silent killers. I found my purpose, my drive, to cheat death. Never again did I want to see death’s repulsive, smirking face or hear “my love” come from his lips again. Thirty-five, thirty-six, thirty-seven, thirty-eight… only one last flight of stairs, the night air hit me like a chilly punch in the face. Smoothing over me and slipping past, it ran icy fingers through my hair. A billion stars watched on as I transformed into a running machine. The final bombs blew and the first of many Company buildings fell to its knees and buried itself in hell along with its haunting secretes.

As I ran away from my past ten years of pain and trial, I held on to the memories and emptiness to fuel my rampage of taking the Company down. The sun came and went, the sky keep its azure colour hidden, and the stars continued to watch; with disappointment or approval I will never know.

Not until this day have I actually seen and behind the sight of the azure sky with my own eyes. I stare up at it now, done and completely ready to move on with my life. The Company, now destroyed, will never rise up again. I have successfully passed my first mission. Laying here gazing at the sky, I waited for it to swallow me up and take me in.

“My love, what are you doing?” asked death.

“Resting, leave me alone.” I sourly replied, “You ruined the mood.”

“Ahhhh now now, I didn’t ruin anything, I only enhanced the beauty,” he leaned down closer and whispered into my ear, “get  up my love, we have work to do.”

04/23 2010

Debi Nova - Drummer Boy

I srsly wish i could belly dance or what-ever-dancing she’s doing!

my recently favorite song to dance/act crazyy song!

04/19 2010
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

<3 tegan&sara

04/19 2010

If I told you that I stole your heart, would you call the cops on me?

ieatpikachu:

thatkidkayden:

or would you let me keep it?

04/19 2010

thinking of you has become as much as a habit as breathing, i do it without even noticing.

I wish i was the girl you thought of everyday, every hour, every minute. Unfortunatelyi am not the one who can make you laugh when you want to kill yourself, i am not the perfect girl of your dreams, nor am i any good for you. i know you fell fast and hard and expected nothing of me and though our friends thought us together cute, it was all lies. Lies upon lies layered in between and stacked on top of other lies. Iknow i should cry for what we lost, but tears refuse to come and drench my feelings.

“so, if i put my heart in your hands, don’t expect a gem. it’s a little dusty, a little bruised, the edges worn smooth from the river of life constantly pounding away. it won’t burn the shadows away or cleanse the toxins from your veins. it might pinch your nerves and cramp your muscles and tweak your skin until you’re howling with pain. it might hit all the wrong frequencies and break your favorite wine glasses and crash your car and leave your life as one haphazard ink splatter on what used to be a pristine page.” -=Corina90

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